Friday, April 1, 2011

playing catch-up

i am sick a lot.
and sometimes i am not.
then i play catch up, but i never do
catch up,
until the next time.
and while i’m never catching up,
i sometimes grow anxious
and distant
and small (minded)
and mean.
all wrapped up
in the things to do,
forgetting
to live, 
forgetting
to
love.

16 comments:

Ostriches Look Funny said...

i know the feeling of never catching up and getting small and mean because of it. I hope you're feeling good right now!

beth said...

i can i ask what your chronic illness is without being intrusive....

deb colarossi said...

I do the same and have no "excuse".
Be gentle with yourself...

Leslie said...

Not intrusive, Beth... I suffer from severe intestinal adhesions from past surgeries. The adhesions sort of "glue" the intestines together, which makes eating and digesting food difficult, and causes regular attacks of intestinal obstruction. There is no cure at this point, as surgery only causes more adhesions to form.

Can do mom said...

Leslie, Your poem really resonated with me. I know all about the "catch up" and becoming small minded and mean when I'm feeling burdened. :(

I'm sorry to read about your adhesions. For a while my doctors thought I suffered from adhesions after my hysterectomy (due to ovarian cancer) 11 years ago but for me it was a season that passed. I'm so sorry it did not pass for you.

I'm praying for you today. :)

S. Etole said...

Understanding ... and praying.

Tamara @ Living Palm said...

Leslie, this makes me sad. I'm sorry. :(

B. Meandering said...

you know i understand. am facing catchup next week for being sick this week and around and around we go.

Anonymous said...

Leslie,

Your presence anywhere is a blessing.

Elizabeth said...

I am so sorry to read of your chronic pain issues and everything. I do wish you comfort and healing and all the good things you give to others back at you --

Kamana said...

oh i am sorry to hear about your pain. sending you big hugs.

Francesca said...

I think it must be difficult sometimes to live with chronic illness and be open and loving too.

Rachel said...

Leslie, I grew up with chronic illness (fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue.) and know what you are talking about and the down times can be hard. Hope and praying recovery this time does bring more energy and strength. Praying for healing.

Dawn Elliott said...

This is so well written - I can fully relate to the feelings of never catching up and sometimes getting small-minded...
It made me stop and think about all my blessings.
Wrapping you in light and health, Dawn

natsumi nishizumi said...

Hope you feel better, Leslie. Sending you big hugs..

LauraX said...

me too...but we are doing the best we can moment to moment...and that's all we can do/be.

xo