i know i'm supposed to be grateful,
and really, i am...
for so many things and people and mercies.
but lately i've been having a really hard time
with this endless loop of pain and sickness
and difficulties —
which has put me in a black mood.
the last two days, especially,
i've been feeling angry
and like i just want to shut myself into a padded room somewhere
and scream until i can't scream anymore.
i'm sorry if this makes you sad on thanksgiving.
i have a happier post of things i'm grateful for,
which i'll post directly after this.
but somehow these two me's are existing in the same fragile body, right now,
and i just couldn't post the good
without the bad and the ugly.
it didn't seem honest.
somebody tell me a stupid joke. gallows humor cheerfully accepted.