Monday, May 27, 2013

so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life...


I lost my dear mother yesterday. She was just shy of her 84th birthday (and looking forward to it, as she looked forward to ALL holidays.) She's been ill off and on for about 20 years, and so we were sort of accustomed to her amazing comebacks from impossible odds. But this time she didn't come back. She went home, instead. And I miss, her, boy, do I miss her already. 

Sue Rovelstad Lawless. 

A Scots/Norwegian gal, married to an Irishman. They had three children between them, and I am the oldest. Although their marriage didn't last, her love for us never failed. Never. 

She was a mother first, artist second, and proud of that. 

She loved color and beauty and Christmas. Weeks before she died, even though back pain was severely limiting her walking abilities, she surprised my daughter (her only granddaughter) with an impromptu birthday party at her house, complete with china and petit fours. She made a heroic effort to see her only grandson get married this past March, and boy did she enjoy every minute of it. Each of us kids had a hand in keeping her going as she got older, but what we didn't quite realize is how much she still had a hand in keeping us going. She was always there to talk, whether it was about news, basketball, art, or fashion. She worried over us and took up our offenses. 

She died, as she had always hoped, at home in her bed, peacefully, surrounded by those she loved. I am so grateful for that, even as I wish we had been given just a little more time with her. 

Of course we always want just a little more time. 

But someday we'll have all the time in the world. When what is mortal has been swallowed up by life. When every tear has been wiped away and there is nothing left but the realization of how deeply we were loved by the One who makes all things new. 

Mom's there now, waiting.


21 comments:

Beth said...

Oh wow, Les, I didn't see this coming. My heart, love, and prayers go out to you. I have been there and there and it hurts like nothing else. I am not going to offer platitudes.
Love you, friend.♥b♥

Loree said...

Oh Leslie, that is so beautiful. I am sorry to hear the news. But your mother is in such a better place - a place without darkness and pain. keep strong.

Shared Bread said...

Beautiful tribute. I know it's hard, so hard, let the tears fall. No matter how many years we have our parents we will never be ready to say goodbye.

Kay L. Davies said...

Oh, my dear Leslie. I just deleted a long comment here, because all I really want to say is: I know how I felt when my mom died, and my thoughts are with you.
Love, Kay

lilylovekin said...

I'm so sorry. Lorrie

Deborah Carr said...

Dearest Leslie...may the joy of remembrance keep you steady and His grace hold your heart tenderly. Much love and care across the miles. xoxo

beth said...

oh les....with tears running down my face, my prayers are coming your way in such large amounts that they just might knock you over....

how you wrote about your mom is such a beautiful tribute to who she was....especially about the part about how all of you thinking you were keeping her going, while she's been the one keeping all of you going.

please know that i am truly, so very truly thinking of you right now.....xo

S. Etole said...

Her beauty and personality shines through you as you write of her. How my heart sits with you during this time.

Becky Jerdee said...

Oh, how wonderful it is when a peaceful death can come! Bless you, Leslie, in your time of mourning.

ayala said...

I am so sorry for your loss Leslie. So hard. Thankfully she died the way she had hoped at home surrounded by those she loved. That is a blessing. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.

Elizabeth said...

Oh, dear, Leslie. I am so sorry to hear this and my heart aches for your sorrowful one. Thank you for sharing a bit of her with us, and may your sorrow be lightened with her memories. I send you love and prayers.

isabelle said...

i am very sorry for for your loss.

Kamana {Naashia} said...

i am so sorry for your loss leslie. my thoughts and prayers are with you right now, asking for strength to help you through this difficult time.

Elizabeth Wix said...

Dear Leslie,
What a moving tribute to your mother.

My heart goes out to you at this hard time.
You will miss her so much.
I still miss my mother and she's been dead for more than twenty years but I have great joy in memories of her.
Sending love.

♥ w o o l f ♥ said...

that is beautifully written from the heart, with all the right colours fitting.
i feel deeply for your loss.
n♥

Nancy said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom. May she rest in peace. Hold tight to your beautiful memories of her. You will see her again, someday.

rebecca said...

i have been away from the daily blogs for quite some time and i say this only to express how grateful i am to have been lead here to you today. oh leslie. you are a beauty inside and out. i see the apple did not fall far from the tree. bless you and bless your sweet kind mother; truly the force of her love will be with you forever.
i see you in her and her in you. so i thank you sue rovelstad lawless for the love you have brought into this world and for the gift of leslie in mine.
xoxoxoxoxo

Jodi said...

She sounds wonderful,And I know you cared for her very well. Hugs, my friend. xx Give Emily a hug from me too.

Tracy said...

Dear Leslie... how very heartily sorry and sad I am for your great loss. You Mother sounded such a sweet and wonderful person. Thank you for sharing her here with you. :o) I'm sorry to be slow to visit. We're just back from a vacation and getting over jet lag. Take care, my friend... Prayers flying your way. ((HUGS))

JoAnn Hallum said...

I read this a while a go, and I've forgotten if I've commented. I just wanted to say that it's stuck with me, your mother's tribute, and I've thought of her, and how you saw her, from time to time. I hope my boys will remember me in a similar manner.

Just so you know.

Laura Delegal - Leroy Photography said...

Oh, Leslie, I am so sorry for your loss. She sounds (and looks like) a wonderful mom. She raised a wonderful, God blessed daughter in you and I pray that you find comfort in your memories of her. Write them down, share them with your children, and cherish them always. God bless.