Monday, May 27, 2013

so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life...

I lost my dear mother yesterday. She was just shy of her 84th birthday (and looking forward to it, as she looked forward to ALL holidays.) She's been ill off and on for about 20 years, and so we were sort of accustomed to her amazing comebacks from impossible odds. But this time she didn't come back. She went home, instead. And I miss, her, boy, do I miss her already. 

Sue Rovelstad Lawless. 

A Scots/Norwegian gal, married to an Irishman. They had three children between them, and I am the oldest. Although their marriage didn't last, her love for us never failed. Never. 

She was a mother first, artist second, and proud of that. 

She loved color and beauty and Christmas. Weeks before she died, even though back pain was severely limiting her walking abilities, she surprised my daughter (her only granddaughter) with an impromptu birthday party at her house, complete with china and petit fours. She made a heroic effort to see her only grandson get married this past March, and boy did she enjoy every minute of it. Each of us kids had a hand in keeping her going as she got older, but what we didn't quite realize is how much she still had a hand in keeping us going. She was always there to talk, whether it was about news, basketball, art, or fashion. She worried over us and took up our offenses. 

She died, as she had always hoped, at home in her bed, peacefully, surrounded by those she loved. I am so grateful for that, even as I wish we had been given just a little more time with her. 

Of course we always want just a little more time. 

But someday we'll have all the time in the world. When what is mortal has been swallowed up by life. When every tear has been wiped away and there is nothing left but the realization of how deeply we were loved by the One who makes all things new. 

Mom's there now, waiting.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

for oklahoma

the wind is stilled, now
yet the storm of grief begins
may comfort find you

Monday, May 20, 2013

even then...

A world of grief and pain:
Flowers bloom;
Even then...

— Kobayashi Issa

My mother-in-law has been ill and in and out of the hospital for the past few weeks. 
It's been a weary time for both her and us, and it's not over yet. 
Sometimes it feels like the flowers will never bloom again, yet here's the proof...

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

earthen vessels

you are of the earth
like me, fragile, breakable.
that's why i love you.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

new bowl ...

... a gift from my mother.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Gatsby for the modern girl...

If you love all things food, all things Gatsby, or all things Baz Luhrmann, this is for you. Yes, it's a shameless plug for my daughter's latest food article in the Tampa Bay Times, but it's also a super fun read. Enjoy!

Sunday, May 5, 2013

consuming fire

the light was like 
 the spirit of God on the waters —
like flame.
it made the shadows
and then 
consumed them.